The Stigma of Being a Feminist

This quote from The New York Times‘ recent “Female Factor” piece “The Stigma of Being a Housewife” made me raise my eyebrows:

When it is no longer socially acceptable to be a housewife — or homemaker, in modern American parlance — has feminism overshot its objective?

Has feminism has been so wildly successful integrating women into the workforce that homemakers are now considered deadbeats?  There are a couple of problems with this hypothesis, starting with the idea that feminism has substantially increased the number of working women.  I think that would be news to most feminists, who despite their many accomplishments, know that it’s the economy, stupid.

By incurring the “f” word, the Times also implies that feminists have been party to the devaluing of housewifery.  It’s the kind of assertion that pits woman against woman, feminist against homemaker, career woman against stay-at-home mom.  In other words, it drives traffic.  But if indeed you believe that homemakers are being widely stigmatized — and I’m not sure that’s the right conclusion — feminism certainly is not the culprit.  Just the opposite: homemaking has always been valued less than formal work in part because it has been the domain of women.  Feminism works to combat this kind of institutional sexism.

The answer to the question of whether feminism “has overshot its objective” depends on how we define feminism’s objective.  I’ve always felt that feminism is about giving all women the same opportunities as men.  It’s not about validating every person’s choice or telling women that whatever they want to be is okay.  It’s about making sure that both social convention and public policy support women’s advancement in all fields, and about institutions that protect women regardless of their chosen path.

The reality is that most homemakers are not the privileged opt-outers, but rather under-educated women with few prospects.  They want to work, but cannot get a job or make enough money to justify childcare.  These women are stigmatized because they are female, socio-economically depressed, and lack education and skills.  The fact that they are housewives is the least of the issue.  But the Times chooses to focus on middle-class European women who have chosen to leave the workforce, not those who have been forced out by circumstance.

The Times piece ends by quoting an economist who suggests that we formally recognize homemaking as part of the economy.  I’ve written about some of the problems inherent in valuing housework and child-rearing before, as have a number of others: Laura Vanderkam, Ashley Merryman, Lisa Cullen, and Nancy Folbre in the Times Economix blog.  Folbre rightly points out that putting a market value on childcare “cannot capture the intangible, personal and unforgettable gifts our parents make to us.”

From an economics perspective, most women who work are ALSO homemakers, so it’s not clear to me that putting a value on child-rearing or housework would raise the status of housewives.  In fact, I would see a working mother who manages to do all the same tasks as her stay at home counterpart, plus participate in the formal economy, coming out with a substantially higher “value.”  Doesn’t this just artificially inflate the economy, since everyone has to do housework — married or single, parent or childless.

What role should feminist advocates play for homemakers?  For most stay at home mothers, an emotional validation of their contributions isn’t the greatest need.  Instead it’s education, affordable childcare, and social services that can help all women live their highest potential.  But to do this, those of us who identify as feminists can’t let ourselves be dragged into the mommy wars.  We can’t say that feminism is about choice; we must recognize that it’s about opportunity.

Related links:

• Kristine Gutierrez at New Era News says feminism is not to blame for stigmatizing housewives, politics is.
• Over at Across The Pond, jke writes about “Where Choice Feminism Has Got Us.” (Spoiler alert: not very far.)
• From ZeldaLily: Are Modern Housewives Becoming Extinct or Just Oppressed?
• Interesting piece from Yam Erez about why she rejects “choice feminism”.