Today’s First Person Friday comes to us from Diana Windley, who blogs about her mom+career world in Green Mountain, Utah at Mom Means Business. You can follow Diana on Twitter at DiWin.
A few years ago I called to schedule two appointments with our pediatrician. Our older daughter needed a pre-kindergarten exam and our younger daughter was ready for her 18-month check-up. In an effort to be efficient, I asked the nurse to schedule both appointments at the same time. She told me that the doctor preferred to see siblings on separate visits, but I begged for an exception. I explained that I was a working mom, and it would be a much better for me to have both appointments at once.
Right decision?
No…not by a long shot.
I went with my girls to the exam room, and had them strip down to their respective underwear and diaper. No matter what I said to my oldest daughter, she would not calm down. She had heard horror stories about the impeding shots from her friends and was terrified.
She let out bone-chilling screams and sat her hands when the nurse tried to prick her finger for a single drop of blood.
The yelling became louder when the shots came out…and she started kicking the poor nurse. The kind of kicks that leave dark purple bruises. The nurse finally pinned my daughter’s legs against the table while I wrestled with her arms and torso.
During this entire embarrassing episode, my toddler was running around the room oblivious to the torture being inflicted upon her sister. She was busy flipping the light switch up and down. The flashing-light affect added to the drama.
When the shots were over I turned to stop my younger daughter’s disruptive behavior to see her sans diaper. She was totally nude, streaking all around the room.
What had been left of my motherhood dignity was completely destroyed at that point. It was obvious I had no control over my kids. I blamed my lack of parental skills on being a working mom.
The chaos at the doctor’s office lasted for 90 minutes…much longer than anticipated. My frustration went on for hours. I returned to the office completely frazzled. My quest for efficiency ended in disaster and self-doubt.
Last week I started reading Stephen R. Covey’s First Things First. He says that “more” and “faster” isn’t always better. This example from his book hits very close to home:
“There’s a vital difference between efficiency and effectiveness. You may be driving down the highway, enjoying great traveling weather and getting terrific mileage. You may be very efficient. But if you’re headed south down the California coast on Highway 101 and your destination is New York City – some three thousand miles to the east – you’re not being very effective.”
***Light Bulb Moment***
Efficiency doesn’t necessarily equal effectiveness.
Now they tell me! Why didn’t I get this concept years ago???
I don’t need to be the most efficient woman around. What’s most important is that I’m an effective woman, balancing family and work.
Help combat the invisible working mother phenomenon by telling your working mother story. Interested? Email The Mama Bee at mamabeeblog at gmail dot com with the subject line “First Person Friday.”
I think every working mother makes this particular mistake exactly once. I will never take my kids for a simultaneous checkup again – had exactly the experience you describe. More broadly, the distinction between effective and efficient is a good one to keep in mind!
Stephen Covey is a great resource for parents. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for the warning. Now, I should write this down somewhere so I remember and don’t repeat your mistake!
classic post! Love it and really brings some great points to light.
Thanks for the insight – maybe that’s why I cut my heel while shaving, burnt dinner in the crockpot, and shrunk my favorite shirt – all in the same day.