Despite that over 70% of mothers work, it’s funny that there’s very little media created specifically for us. In fact, there are exponentially more publications that tell you how to make the best cupcake or decorate the ideal nursery or plan the perfect birthday party than there are about how to manage your career. And what there is seems to be deeply disconnected from the realities of working motherhood.
I’ve been thinking about this recently vis a vis Sharon Lerner’s great piece in Slate, “How Could One of America’s Most Sexist Companies End Up on Working Mother’s Best 100 List?” Lerner specifically calls out Novartis, which was recently sued for egregiously sexist behavior, but has been on the list for over a decade. I’ve known women who have worked for Working Mother Top 100 companies who say that, despite cosmetic support for women and families, the reality at the departmental level is often quite different. Just because the company nominally offers flex work or part-time options doesn’t mean that they won’t fire you for taking them. And having programs that claim to mentor women doesn’t mean that old boys club networks are not alive and well.
I would chalk this up as anecdotal evidence if over 35% of the Working Mother 100 companies hadn’t also been sued for gender discrimination. In the Slate piece, Working Mother CEO Carol Evans defended the inclusion of Novartis in their list and said they wouldn’t be changing their algorithm because it gets companies to compete with each other in the family policy arena. I get what she’s saying, but I couldn’t disagree with her more. What good is it to employees if the list gets companies to one up each other with fluffy, superficial human resources projects without effecting any real change on the ground?
More disturbing, the list has been touted as one way for working mothers to evaluate job choices. The Working Mother 100 infers the promise of a list of companies we can count on to treat women equitably. But if 35% are being sued for various kinds of gender discrimination, isn’t Working Mother betraying our trust?
If Working Mother’s list is damaging, so too are many of the features directed at working mothers. Consider Myths of Modern Motherhood by Leslie Morgan Steiner from Mommy Tracked, a slick online publication aimed at working mothers. Steiner’s “myths” and the conclusions she draws from them don’t do those of us in the corporate world any favors — in fact they seem designed to push us toward stay at home motherhood, or at least scaling back our working lives. A good example is myth number six: If you take a break from work to care for children, kiss your career goodbye.
You may not “kiss your career goodbye” if you take time off, but it is grossly disingenuous to act as though it won’t hurt. The same for some of her other myths — if you turn down promotions or take a lengthy maternity leave there may be repercussions. We need to be honest with women about these, and let them make informed decisions for themselves based on their priorities and corporate cultures. There are no generalizations; what might not hurt one career at all could be terribly detrimental to another. How irresponsible it is for Steiner, a writer who hasn’t worked in corporate America for a long time, to spout these myths as if she knows what we face, especially if we are women who place great value on our professional lives.
The final straw for me on the Steiner piece is myth number eight. From the piece:
8. I love my job! Happy to report that “love” is the feeling reserved for nice husbands, all children, and cats who do not throw up on your pillow. I like my work. I like the money I make from it. But love has nothing to do with it.
Actually, some of us do feel quite passionate about our work. We shouldn’t be comparing the incredible and complex emotions that we feel for our partners and children with what we feel for our jobs. Because they can’t and shouldn’t compete. When a parent is joyful and happy with his/her work, family benefits; when a parent is unhappy or loses a job, the pain is tremendous and affects everyone. We need to be telling young women that they can find “love” in their professional lives. It’s not the same love we experience with our spouses and kids, but it’s incredibly fulfilling and important in its own way.
That passion, that love for work, that drive is what will bring more women up through the ranks of corporate America. That’s why seeing this kind of thing in an e-zine targeted at people like me is so frustrating and disturbing. Would it be impossible to get some mothers actually working in the trenches of the corporate world to write honestly for these publications? Or are we destined just to get more marketing blah blah from those that claim to serve our needs?
Related links:
- The Wall Street Journal‘s Sue Shellenbarger also takes on the Working Mother/Novartis puzzle.
- AmLaw looks at the Novartis case with an eye towards it’s own industry.
- From The Mama Bee archives: how did Goldman Sachs make the list when they too are being sued?
Well said!
Amazing that 35% of the “Working Mother” 100 Companies have been sued for gender discrimination.
So many companies “talk the talk” but don’t “walk the walk” when it comes to Work/Life balance for working mothers. We need a grassroots effort to close the gap between corporate PR rhetoric and workplace reality.
As long as most upper management and board room positions are taken by men, things will not change for working women in corporate America. And those “100 best companies for women to work for” lists are just corporate PR. Women need to change the way they think about employment and become their own boss; They have to start their own firms and set the tone that pleases them.
I work for a company consistently in the Top 10 (or 5) of the Working Mother lists year to year.
I stopped subscribing to the magazine because I was fed up that my company was consistently being presented as a leading-edge company for women/moms, which is nowhere near the reality.
It’s discomforting to me that so many companies get this type of golden PR without really having to justify it.
I had my first baby while working at a company whose official work/life and family policies were laughable. When I searched the online employee handbook for “maternity leave” I found nothing- and that was because there was nothing written about maternity leave, per se.
It was actually a wonderful place to start a family. There was no paid maternity leave, just the usual family leave as required by law (which in my state is partially paid). But I had zero problems coming back part time for a month, and then at 35 hours/week for another year. I could work from home anytime I wanted. I had complete schedule flexibility as long as I met my project needs. All of these things were just part of their standard way of operating, and so when I took advantage of them, it was not seen as stepping onto some sort of “mommy tack”. In fact, I took more advantage of the flex time before I had kids- I used to arrange my schedule to allow frequent long weekend getaways with my husband.
So I completely agree- what matters is the reality on the ground, not whether there is a specific “family” policy.
I also think that some of the flexibility I had came because I was in a fairly senior position and felt comfortable asking for what I wanted. So my advice for young women who want to combine motherhood and a career is to aim high in their career, because those jobs usually have more flexibility inherent to them and because they pay enough to allow you to buy some help at home. Also, if you are passionate about your work, you have less need for hobbies to feel fulfilled as a person, which is helpful when a baby comes along and squeezes most of your hobbies out of your life.
As for the media- I almost never see myself in their pieces on working mothers. All of the pieces are about how unhappy we are, how hard our life is, and how we’re opting out in droves. My reality is quite different. But I guess a story about a working mother who is happy with her life wouldn’t make very dramatic reading.
I worked for a media company that did a best place to work survey each year. It’s a marketing and advertising ploy. First, most of them, the company has to submit a lengthy application in order to be considered. Then, they pay to go to a fancy awards ceremony. I don’t know about how the Working Mother one is handled, but I feel like there are a hundred “best of” lists and you have to rely on networking with women who actually work at the company to know for sure how they treat women in the workforce. It’s more than just having flex time and offering maternity leave.
There is a world of difference between nice HR cosmetic work-life balance policies for workers in general and what actually goes for management or exec leaders when they’re on leave. When you are on maternity leave (over here in Quebec we get 12 months parental leave if we want), but while you are gone, you’re not necessarily part of the big picture anymore. No one really acknowledge the silent discrimination that goes on but it does happen. Now that men here are also entitled to a long parental leave (they can share it with there spouse), some also realize that while you are gone to change a few diapers, you may not be up for the next promotion anymore. When you are part of the management or executive leaders of a company, those jobs are highly political and if you’re absent, it is difficult to maintain your “presence”. There are no policies to protect your career while you are gone. When you go back to work, you have to face the fact that there might be new staff, new collegues, new bosses and you have to rebuild your relationship network, rebuild trust. Basically, you have to campain to promote yourself. Not always easy when you are not willing to be married to your job anymore.
I used to do PR for a company that consistently landed on the lists of best companies to work for. It wasn’t. But it was my job to make sure we made the list. Beware the companies that spend time looking good instead of actually doing good.