From time to time I criticize The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and other big media for their coverage of working parent issues. But if there’s one sacred cow in my life, it’s been public radio. That is until now.
This month one of my favorite local news programs, The Brian Lehrer Show, has had a segment on parenting taboos featuring Babble‘s Rufus Griscom encouraging parents to “confess” parenting realities that are not socially acceptable to discuss in public. Last week’s show was on “What I Will Not Sacrifice for My Child,” and it opened with a clip of an older interview with New York’s Governor David Paterson responding to a question about how he and his wife balance raising kids with their demanding careers.
Paterson admitted that he and his wife sometimes don’t get home until 9 or 10pm and that their schedules do make it hard to spend time with their 15 year-old son. Brian discussed the clip in the context of a recent news story about Governor Paterson’s son, who was found gambling illegally with a credit card that didn’t belong to him in his pocket. Though the clip and the news story weren’t linked — the Governor wasn’t responding to the allegations against his son, and there isn’t any evidence that the family’s schedules were related to this incident — Brian made the connection in a very direct way.
If you heard “Why Brian, why?” ringing out in the tri-state area that evening of January 14th (I was podcasting the show), it was probably me wailing in betrayal and alarm.
Because whatever your politics, I think we can all agree that it was a low blow to take something the Governor said in an entirely separate context and apply it to a tremendously disturbing family situation. Many 15 year-olds have parents who work late, especially those with parents in high-powered jobs. But there’s no evidence that these kids are more likely to become petty hoodlums or act out. What is clear is that teenagers do stupid things no matter how vigilant their parents are — it’s the nature of being a teenager, and it’s not likely to be changed by parents giving up their best professional opportunities to watch their kids relentlessly.
Brian’s implication, intentional or not, was that if the Governor and his wife, who holds a high-level position at the Health Insurance Plan of New York, had sacrificed more in their careers — giving up the late nights, etc. — their child might not have problems. But how could Brian know this? What does it say to working parents if the media tells us that taking care of our children requires us to give up wonderful career opportunities. Should the Governor have decided not to take the office because he had a teen-age son? Should his wife have left her job? Would this have made a meaningful difference given that most 15 year-olds are not especially interested in spending lots of time with their parents day or evening?
Since the segment was framed in the language of confession, it’s also worth pointing out that the Governor wasn’t “confessing” in the interview. He said that their schedules made work life balance difficult, but he didn’t say that he or his wife regretted their choices. Brian implied that they should. Apparently even the most progressive media needs a sea change to deal with work life issues sensitively and accurately.
Related links:
- Despite my issue with this segment, The Brian Lehrer Show is one of the best things on public radio. Their coverage of the Haiti earthquake from the perspective of Haitian New Yorkers has been terrific. Check them out here.
- More confessions at Babble’s “Bad Parent” column. I like Babble, but this is more sensationalism to drive traffic than journalism.
