Earlier this week Babble came out with it’s list of the fifty best “mommy bloggers.” In a lot of ways it’s a great list — I read many of these women and have linked to some of them, notably The Mommy Blog and Silicon Valley Moms Blog. But the list also left me a little conflicted because almost none of the blogs listed were issues-oriented.
That’s not to say that mom blogs don’t sometimes tackle issues — Dooce has talked about her struggle with post-partum depression, and both The Motherlode and Free Range Kids offer commentary on news and public affairs, much of which is issues-oriented. And yet, I would have loved to see a blogger like Morra Aarons-Mele (Women and Work, MomsRising), Joanne Bamberger (PunditMom), Kami Lewis-Levin (The Fence, A Blog for Working Moms), Leanne Chase (Career Life Connection) or Cali Yost (Work Life Fit) make the list. All are moms, all are successful bloggers, all write about issues core to mothering — and yet, somehow, they are not in the “mom blog” space.
This begs the question: what is a mom blog? Do mothers who write about “mom issues” qualify, or are mom blogs really more illuminating memoirs about and tips from particular families? Are those of us mothers who are feminist bloggers also mom bloggers? Do we want to be?
It’s more popular it is to call yourself a “mommy blogger” than a “feminist blogger.” When non-readers ask about my blog, they invariably think of me as a “mom blogger;” I usually say that my blog is about “the politics of motherhood,” but that can be a complicated thing for someone — especially a non-parent — to understand. Sometimes I do revert to using the “mommy blog” phraseology, just for simplicity’s sake.
Part of this is about commerce. Motherhood sells, feminism does not. So it’s not likely that feminist blogs will ever generate the kind of revenue that mom blogs do. On the contrary, I suspect most of us blog because we are passionate about something, not as our primary job. Of course we understand that blogging is a critical way of marketing our work and ideas too. It can lead to money in various ways. But if we were most interested in income from writing, we would likely not be writing about feminism and working mothers.
But I also wonder if we are losing something here. Looking at Babble’s list, I see categories like “Most Controversial,” and “Most Confessional.” ”Most Useful” is about parenting tips, but perhaps not tips most relevant to the roughly 72% of moms with children over the age of one in the workforce. These mothers need support too, and as much as I love a lot of the mommy blogs — and I really do! — they don’t, by and large, provide the kind of information and community that this majority group needs.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how working mothers seem to be invisible in the media. Maybe next year Babble will include a few more of my fellow travelers in their list, and help bring working mother readers into the mom blog world too.
Related links:
- Jessica Smith’s top ten misconceptions about Mommy Bloggers.
- From The Mama Bee archives: On Being a Mommy Blogger.
- CNN.com reports on mom bloggers pledges to avoid ethical conflicts.
- Advertising Age posts about the Mommy Blogger business.
Thanks for the post. I really feel that like you say there are a lot of informative and notable blogs there were not mentioned in that list. I can only speak for myself here on why my blog isn’t as ‘factual’ and ‘real’ as it could be … because I probably doubt myself and my knowledge. I don’t feel qualified to inform other women. Dumb reason I know but I get nervous when I do. I have had a handful of posts that touch on real topics like post partum and dealing with addiction(s) but even those took me some time to write. Maybe others feel the same and just stick to the ‘My Son had the Biggest Poop Ever’ posts. Cute.
First of all, thank you so much for mentioning me. I’m incredibly flattered. Secondly, I agree whole-heartedly about the connotations around mommy blogger versus what many of us are really doing, which is blogging about the politics of motherhood, as you said. As a feminist, an educator, and a mother, I find my life both fascinating and terrifying (sometimes simultaneously and sometimes consecutively) and I’m hungry for how other women view their own like experiences. I’d like to add to your list if I may, by giving shout outs to Linda at http://www.sundrymorning.com, Maria at http://www.mommymelee.com, and Melissa at http://www.rockanddrool.com. They are all amazing writers, moms and strong women, who blog about what it means to be who we are by really getting into the nitty gritty. It’s not always pretty, but it’s real.
i love this post! because so many of us so-called mommy blogs are overlooked due to not truly fitting in a mommy blogger niche.
kami is one of my favorite bloggers too. and i am so honored that she mentioned my little blog in her comment!
i’m off to tweet this! great job!
Thanks for putting the issue in print so eloquently. I haven’t been blogging that long, but struggle with the term “mommy blogger”; at the same time, I don’t want to deny women who choose to use this term. Still, I can’t help feeling there’s something pejorative about it, like other classifications such as Chick Lit/Chick Flick.
Great post. I do think someone who calls themselves a “mom blogger” should be blogging about issues related to the title. Otherwise, wouldn’t the title doesn’t really hold much weight. I don’t mind the term if it has to do with the position held, but otherwise, why give it that title?
You bring up some really terrific points. This semantic thing is something I’ve tried to figure out for a long time, but I’m afraid that whatever we write about, if it’s through the lens of a mom, we’re officially “mom bloggers.” Even the bargain bloggers. Even the people who just write reviews about free stuff. Even the people who don’t really blog at all but just sort of chat on twitter these days.
Having mom/mother/mama in our urls also helps.
That said, I end up on these lists from time to time (I guess it’s the name!) and I am a working mom that writes a lot about my struggles with it. I’m not limited to that issue of course, because eh, I just write whatever’s on my mind.
I also just need to point out, despite the arbitrary ranking system of the Babble list, I happen to find ParentHacks exceptionally useful. And Asha Dornfest is one of the hardest working parents I know. Published author and all!
I have never considered myself a feminist nor a mommy blogger, although I am a mother. I suppose I would call myself a me blogger. Surely I mention my children but they are not the focus of my blog.
Is that selfish, perhaps but that’s the way it is. It is my blog…as I have oft heard.
Great post and a lot to think about. Off to check out the list.
I love blogging. My first thought when I started my site with my best friend Sadie was that we might be able to make a small amount of cash to reason extra coffee dates and shoe purchases
Reality Check. We suck compared to most Mommy Bloggers. So I decided that maybe blogging was something could be an outlet (although I am still not opposed to someone paying me for saying stupid things online)
Now I just love writing (even though I suck at it) and the sense of community I get from my blog. I love all the new moms and the exchange of stories.
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