Working for More Than Money

In a recent post over at Double X, Linda Hirshman heralds a new era of working women.  She points out that because of the recession and some very public examples of men failing their stay-at-home wives, women are now re-entering the workforce in higher numbers.  In other words, the “opt-out revolution” is winding down.

I like Hirshman’s assessment, but would add a little feminist nuance.  First, while it’s true that most women work for financial reasons, couching women’s role in the workplace as primarily about supporting ourselves — especially in the context of deadbeat husbands — implies that women should look first to the jobs that are highest paying and second to those that are most secure.  I would argue somewhat differently; the highest paying and most secure job is likely to be one that holds your passion and allows you to grow over a period of years.

Second, I worry that the excitement about womens’ changing role in the workforce doesn’t address improvements in corporate culture that would lead to more women in senior management roles.  It’s not enough to just be happy that we have jobs — those jobs need to offer the same opportunity for professional growth and financial independence as our male counterparts.  Right now they don’t, in part because women are not well represented as decision-makers.

There have been a spate of articles and books recently that suggest dialing back your career is okay — hey, not everyone needs to be CEO or VP, and it may just be too difficult for women with children to meet the demands of a high-powered job and a strong family.  Of course it’s true that not everyone wants or needs top jobs, but what are the ramifications of systematically telling ourselves that it’s really just too hard to have a strong family and a high-powered career?  In addition to the external challenges we face, women also are limiting themselves.

I was struck by a recent quote from Cathy Greenberg, author of What Happy Working Mother’s Know, in the Philadelphia Bulletin:

Women have been socialized to avoid “ambition” as though it is something that makes “us” bad people…we often hear the messages couched as…why aren’t you happy with just being included, being a good partner, a good mother and associate?  Women always want to know why “enough” is just not… enough?  Women can help this feeling by taking an inventory of what they believe is “enough” for them and truly commit to their own happiness and wellbeing as part of the formula.  Often this will help them gain insight into the motivations of “being enough” vs. having enough so they can have more control/influence over their desires and thus recognize — we cannot measure our success in life by our money or our status — but by the relationships we create, depend upon and look forward to as successful people.

As Greenberg suggests, our happiness as mothers is neither about staying home or working.  It’s about figuring out what we really want and aspiring to those goals — whether they be in the boardroom, a self-started business, our own homes or somewhere else.  Most of us work to make money, to support our families.  But if we really aspire to success in whatever we are doing, we have to find what we love.  And this is a perspective that is noticably absent when we talk about working versus staying home.

Stay-at-home mothers frequently say they are doing it for their kids or because their salaries don’t cover the costs of childcare.  Working mothers say they work because they need the financial stability.  But rarely do women on either side say they made their choice because they are following a passion.  If we are to see a feminist revolution in the workplace, fulfillment as much as finances must drive our choices.

Related links:

• Why You Really Ought to Want to Love Your Work from Susan Heathfield at About.com’s Human Resources page.
• Ideas on Finding Career Passion from Louise Fletcher at CareerHub.
• From The Mama Bee archives: Passion, Fulfillment and Pay Equity and The Right Career for You and Your Family.