“Pick your battles” is an old adage of office politics, but good management is more nuanced than just knowing when to fight; it’s about finding creative compromise. Conflict wastes time and demotivates. Effective managers are able to bring partners together to find solutions that meet multiple organizational needs.
Office politics has its own prisoner’s dilemma scenario. If two managers are fighting, one of the two wins, but the other gets nothing. While this is bad for the person who loses, it can also be bad for the winner. As David D’Alessandro says in his 10 Rules of Executive Warfare: It’s not important to be the solitary genius who dreamed up, financed, and implemented a great plan all by yourself. What’s really valuable is showing that you are the kind of person other powerful people want to work with. Both players lose if the winner is unable to implement her plan alone, or if their fighting blocks both managers from accomplishing goals.
But if the managers cooperate, finding common ground that benefits each of them halfway, they both win and their personal risk is minimized. So how do you move from a culture of conflict — where everyone is “picking battles” — to one of solutions?
1. Define and redefine objectives. Know what is important to you and the company before deciding how to build solutions. Don’t waste time discussing issues that aren’t directly related to these objectives. And if your company isn’t supporting one of your goals, ask whether it is still a priority before including it in your strategy.
2. Find high-level allies. Speak frankly to your colleagues and supervisors about a desire to find consensus. Frame the issues with your and the company’s objectives. Most importantly, listen to their needs — they have goals to meet too — and see where there is overlap. It may be that neither your nor your colleague’s goals are met fully, but if you can improve the situation by as much as 50%, you’re better off than fighting a losing battle.
3. Meet face to face. Trying to work through thorny negotiations on the phone isn’t ideal, and over email it’s near impossible. Your colleagues need to see your face, or at least hear your voice, to know that you’re sincere in wanting to find solutions that work for everyone.
4. Know when not to compromise. From time to time something comes up that damages your ability to meet goals. Frequently the issue is one of communication — managers with other areas of expertise may not know about or understand your objectives. If there’s a point you can’t cede, don’t just say no; offer a meaningful alternative.
5. Be “the voice of reason.” By effectively negotiating internal conflict and finding creative compromise, you can become the go-to person for problem-solving. That’s an excellent position to be in, and it will garner the respect of your superiors and colleagues. People who are known to foment conflict get left out of decision-making, but those who are easy to work with are likely to become core team members.
Related links:
- Team Negotiation Skills: Finding Acceptable Compromise from Mindtools.com.
- Getting Your Way Through Non-Adversarial Negotiation by Daniel Robin offers a number of useful tips.
- Nine Tips for Better Listening from Helen Wilkie of Communi-keys.
- Ten Tips for Negotiating Workplace Conflict from Jeffrey Krivis, author of Improvisational Negotiation: A Mediator’s Stories of Conflict about Love, Money, Anger—and the Strategies that Resolved Them.
